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Marathon runner to cram 150 miles night before race

BRIGHTON – Hastings Marathon hopeful Adrian Kimble plans to make up for four months of failed training by cramming 150 miles the night before the race, the No Quarter has learned. “In an ideal world, I would have completed 16 weeks of gradual, slowly building training,” Kimble said. “But I haven’t – so I’m going to take the Friday off work before the race and do a thousand or so laps... 

Olympics thing dropped

The government has cancelled plans to hold that Olympics thing in London next year. Olympics minister Jeremy Hunt said that endless meetings, fiddly contracts and repeated late nights had all influenced the decision. Speaking to reporters this morning, a haggard looking Hunt said: “I don’t want to hear another word about bringing nations together, bridging cultural divides, or any of that... 

Late fees piling up on Kirkland after loan spell at Leicester

Leicester City will have to pay at least £35 in fines to Wigan Athletic after missing the deadline for returning goalkeeper Chris Kirkland. Wigan said it has sent Leicester several emails in recent weeks reminding Leicester the goalkeeping item was due back on January 7th. “Chris was due back three weeks ago,” said Wigan chairman Dave Whelan. “He still hasn’t been returned, so we have... 

Redknapp tipped for England boss as FA insists next manager ‘will resemble Droopy Dog’

The FA strongly hinted today that Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp will become England coach in 2012, saying it was “determined to find a Droopy Dog lookalike” to succeed Fabio Capello. “Harry is a great manager,” said the FA’s general secretary Alex Horne. “He’s achieved great results at Spurs, and he has that adorable hang-dog expression.” Horne said that previous European... 

Local paper thinks anybody gives one about small time football club

The Dewsbury Advertiser continues to offer unaccountable coverage of local football team Dewsbury Rangers, despite no discernible interest from its readers. The Advertiser, which has a circulation of 13000, regularly reserves its back page for updates of the team’s adequate performances against so-so teams, despite the fact that no more than 10 dog walkers ever turn up to watch a match. The paper... 

Rooney doubtful for World Cup after losing boot

England’s World Cup hopes were dealt another blow last night as Wayne Rooney hopped off the pitch after losing a boot during Manchester United’s end-of-season friendly against Ajax. With the tournament just weeks away, the country faces an anxious wait to see if the striker can find the shoe in time to play a part in England‘s campaign. Rooney lost the boot in the 67th minute of United’s 1-0...