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Olympics thing dropped

Olympic-stadium-construct-001The government has cancelled plans to hold that Olympics thing in London next year.

Olympics minister Jeremy Hunt said that endless meetings, fiddly contracts and repeated late nights had all influenced the decision.

Speaking to reporters this morning, a haggard looking Hunt said: “I don’t want to hear another word about bringing nations together, bridging cultural divides, or any of that other crap.”

Hunt added that he has recently found himself replying to Olympics-related emails on Saturday mornings, despite assurances from David Cameron that the Olympics brief fits comfortably into a normal working week.

“I should have been clearing out my shed last weekend,” said Hunt, “not dealing with queries from the Ethiopian sports minister.”

Government sources said that Sebastian Coe, the Olympics chairman, has forwarded French officials some 10,000-cell spreadsheets on building materials procurement, saying they are welcome to host the global headache if they were so upset about losing out first time around.

At press time Paris had not responded.

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