Home » Comment

I’m doing all the work in this former relationship

RelationshipStewart Thorn

We need to talk. Things clearly haven’t been right between us for a while, so I just had to bring it up.

Because be honest – you wouldn’t have said anything, would you? If it had been down to you, we would have just carried on as normal, hanging out with our respective friends and having fun, just as you would expect any two young, single people to do – as if there was nothing wrong.

But there is something wrong. I’m doing all the work in this former relationship, and deep down I think you know it.

You’ve just been so unresponsive lately. Is it to do with work? Are you having arguments with your dad again? Or is it because our relationship is over and we no longer have any responsibility or emotional obligation to each other? I don’t know. All I know is that we used to hang out all the time when we were going out, and now we see each other like once a month at most.

It’s like you’re not even the same person I stopped going out with six months ago.

I’ve been trying so hard lately to keep this ended relationship going, but it feels like you’re not all that interested any more. Take your birthday last week, for instance. I made sure I could finish work early that day so we could do something special. But you just said you were having a quiet one. I had to pretty much cajole you into meeting me for coffee the next day – it was like you didn’t want to celebrate your birthday at all. And then when we did meet, you were hungover.

I even made you that CD too. Call me old-fashioned, but I like to do little things like that for what used to be the special lady in my life.

Look, I don’t expect things to be exactly the same now as when we first met. That was a long time ago now, and it’s only natural that some of that initial spark you felt at the beginning of the relationship can fade. It’s also natural for that relationship to end entirely when you both decide it’s not working anymore, to move on, and in your case go on dates with other people.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t still have the remnants of something meaningful together. Maintaining what used to be a close romantic bond but is now an awkward friendship is difficult, and requires commitment and trust from both of us. I know I’m willing to make a go of it – I just hope you are too.

After all, we’re supposed to be an ex-couple. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?