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British tourist claims wildlife holiday ‘too inspiring’

eduardo-del-solarA British man is filing a £40,000 compensation suit against a South American tour company which he claims deliberately downplayed the awesomeness of his holiday, the No Quarter has learned.

“Like I keep saying, it was actually too good – really quite over the top,” said Alan Blackwood of his trip to the Galapagos Islands with Sunshine, a local tour operator. “I like some animals, and the odd sandy beach is fine, but these guys overdid it.”

“I was ready for excessive heat, mediocre foreign food – at best, the odd stolen half-hour with a novel. That’s what I pay for, and that’s what I want.

“But this,” continued Blackwood, indicating his tanned but not burned shoulders and rejuvenated, healthy-looking face, “this is an insult.”

Blackwood added that he did not remember having to blow his nose once on the entire trip.
According to Blackwood’s lawyer Euan Lansdale, the scam is typical of many Pacific Ocean tour companies.
“This is an organisation that preys on the low to middling expectations of British holidaymakers,” said Lansdale. “For Mr Blackwood to fly home having had amazing encounters with wild dolphins and breathtaking views from the highest point on the archipelago shows appalling and deliberate abuse of his expectations on the part of the operators.”
Sunshine said it was sorry to hear of Blackwood’s problems, if a little confused, and that it hoped to settle the matter out of court.
“Most people who tour with us really enjoy themselves,” said managing director Edgardo Chifle. “Although we admit that most of our customers are not British. We will perhaps create a separate section of the website for them, or only allow them to holiday in the off-season, when it is typically much cloudier and the wildlife is more difficult to spot.”

Blackwood plans to spend his compensation money on a trip to the unique Inca Ruins of Macchu Picchu, although he admitted to being a little nervous about the staggering, rare beauty of the site.

“But it should be okay,” he said. “Apparently some visitors suffer from altitude sickness.”