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Local paper thinks anybody gives one about small time football club

RoversThe Dewsbury Advertiser continues to offer unaccountable coverage of local football team Dewsbury Rangers, despite no discernible interest from its readers.

The Advertiser, which has a circulation of 13000, regularly reserves its back page for updates of the team’s adequate performances against so-so teams, despite the fact that no more than 10 dog walkers ever turn up to watch a match. The paper also routinely give front page coverage to scoops such as the delayed construction of the Ranger’s new dressing rooms, and a recent pitch invasion by two dogs.

 Rangers captain John Kelly admitted to being flattered by the media attention, but expressed reservations over the amount of column space awarded to his team. “As much as we all love to see ourselves in the Advertiser, I do feel that serious news may be being neglected in our favour.”

Local residents have expressed similar concerns. Maureen and Keith Swift were among a number of town centre shoppers who saw a family of ducks swimming in a puddle outside the Post Office on Tuesday. “You should have seen them,” said Mrs Swift. “Children were even feeding them bread.”

Mr Swift added: “The Advertiser should be reporting the stories that matter to the community, but I’ve seen neither hide nor hair of those ducks in the paper.”

Advertiser editor Billy Wyatt refused to discuss the matter with the No Quarter. “Look kid, the Rangers have just gone one-nil up in a friendly against Wiggington. Unless there’s anything else you want, we’ve got news to report.”